It is difficult to keep your primary relationship healthy, positive, helpful, and united. But it is possible. “We expect a lot from our relationships, and the reality is that long-term marriages or partnerships are tough to sustain, given the pressures most of us face,” says Sue Maisch, L.S.W., a family and child counsellor in Glenwood Springs, Colo.
“To make it work, partners must be mature enough to recognize that a long-term relationship will require sacrifice, dedication, and hard work, but that the payoff of deeper love and a secure, happy home life is well worth the effort.”
Here are some ideas for improving your relationship with your partner.
Experiment with forgiveness
“People who do not forgive frequently struggle to preserve positive feelings toward their partners,” Ms. Maisch explains. “However, partners who progress toward forgiveness are better equipped to sustain their connection because they make a conscious decision not to concentrate on their partner’s mistakes.”
“Jumping in and interrupting while your spouse is attempting to tell you something can frustrate or discourage him or her,” Ms. Maisch advises. “When having a serious discussion, it is critical to listen more than you speak.”
Secrets and falsehoods undermine any relationship’s foundation. Ignoring problems (which is another way of concealing secrets) does not make them go away. What matters is that you communicate your feelings and dreams in a courteous and transparent manner.
These may include no name-calling or criticizing, ensuring that everyone has a chance to speak, truly listening to one another, and taking a break from the conversation if it becomes too intense, as long as you pledge to return to the concerns within a day or two.
If you’re stuck, get assistance.
If you and your partner keep having the same disagreements and no progress is being made, seek the advice of a therapist or marital counsellor. Based on over 12 years of research and experience, relationship specialist James Bauer has created a game-changing approach.
What Is His Secret Preoccupation?
It teaches women how to tap into a deep life-long need that all men share and use it to change the way men perceive them.
This urge, which is half emotional need and half biological drive, is rarely satiated in life or love.
Once a woman knows how to satisfy this “secret obsession’ she will become a man’s highest priority for life. This program is already getting incredible results for women in all walks of life across the world. But we need your help to get the word out about it! (And we’ll make it very worth your while
Attraction Tips — Secret Obsession
He Doesn’t REALLY Want the Perfect Woman
He Wants These 3 Things from You Instead…
How much time do you spend trying to be the kind of woman you think men want?
If you’re like most women, it’s a LOT. You spend all this time making yourself look sexy and attractive.
All this time presenting yourself as fun, interesting, worldly, and not needy in the slightest. You spend all this time showing him just how good you’d be for him… How amazing his future would be if he chose you as the woman by his side…
And it doesn’t work. It never works. WHY? Why do you work so hard… And the guy in your life just takes you for granted, if he even notices you at all? It’s probably because he’s immature, right? He can’t recognize a good thing until it’s gone. Or maybe… It’s because you’ve been doing all the work for him.
If He Doesn’t Work for Your Relationship, He Won’t Value It
What men value most are those things they have to work hard to get.
Hand a man a college diploma, and he won’t value it as much as if he’d had to put in years of study and effort to earn it.
But, as you’ve probably already noticed…
There’s a BIG problem with playing hard to get. That strategy stops working once he’s actually got you.
Something happens when guys decide they’ve won you. It’s almost like they think, “Game over.” Their minds are already on their next challenge. What is going on?!
And how can you stop it from wrecking your relationship?
It’s Not Just You — ALL Women Experience This
(That’s Why They Ask for Help)
Many women give up on love. They never let themselves get too close to a man, for fear of scaring him off. But other women try a different approach. They get help. Relationship coach James Bauer is one of the people they turn to.
He noticed that many clients were coming to him, complaining about guys who were blowing hot and cold. Everything would be going great, and then it was like…
Something would change overnight.
A guy who’d been warm, affectionate and interested would suddenly become distant. He’d no longer have any time for her. He wouldn’t smile in greeting. He’d stop making eye contact. His kisses were brusque. Wanting to help his clients, James investigated.
And what he discovered made sense of everything. He knew why these men were backing away. He knew what they needed … and what they weren’t getting.
It didn’t come down to anything wrong with these women.
Rather, it all came down to something he called “The Hero Instinct.”
3 Ways You Can Invite a Hero into Your Life, Starting Today
Ask a guy for help
Ask him for advice on buying a new computer. Ask him to listen to that weird rattling sound that’s started up in your car. Ask him to reach something on the top shelf. Then thank him warmly, with a great big smile of appreciation. No, that doesn’t make you needy. It makes you a woman with space for a man in her life.
Take pleasure in male company
Guys love women who appreciate men for just being men. So what if his apartment is a shrine to sports? So what if he spends hours on his fantasy football team? So, what if his idea of a clean shirt is the one with the fewest wrinkles? He’s a guy. It’s okay. You don’t need him to be more like you, because you’ve got the feminine side of the gender equation covered.
Let him earn your respect
Superheroes love challenges. They don’t want to be given a gold medal just for showing up. They don’t want your love handed to them on a plate. They want to earn it. There’s one thing they crave even more than a woman’s eternal enduring love: A challenge. So give him opportunities to prove himself. You don’t have to do the work of winning him over. Sit back, relax, and allow him the pleasure of winning your admiration.
How to Make Him Fall in Love with You Faster
Do you ever get a gut feeling about someone the instant you meet them?
When that happens, you know it’s not because of what they said or did. It’s some kind of signal you read in their facial expression, vocal tone, or body language.
Surprisingly, researchers have found that we are quite accurate with these instantaneous assessments about other people. The simple fact is, you know things about a person the second you meet them. And you react to these unspoken signals automatically.
If you’re good at reading people, you may not find it surprising to learn that men and women notice different kinds of signals when interacting with a potential mate.
It’s probably not what you would expect.
You see, there’s a specific kind of body language men simply can’t ignore.
It’s a signal that can spark romantic feelings. Or it can repel him, depending on what he’s reading from your nonverbal cues.
Would you like to know what it is?
Men Are Extremely Sensitive to Something in Your Body Language That You Would Never Expect.
Women often ask me for the words to make a man want you. But the secret to make someone fall in love with you goes a bit deeper.
In fact, your ability to broadcast the right non-verbal message makes all the difference when it comes to attracting the kind of man you want.
If you’ve been attracting attention from guys who fail to connect with you on a deep, emotional level, I may be able to show you why.
You’re probably sending out just one very confusing signal…without even realizing it.
With the wrong signal, you end up with this:
Attention from the wrong kind of guys. The ones you aren’t interested in.
Initial attraction that later fades with the one guy you really wanted to attract.
A slow and painful death for the attraction and passion in your existing relationship.
But with a slight adjustment, you could be sending the right signal all the time. And you’d end up getting results more like this:
Passion that intensifies the longer you’re together
A guy who clearly feels protective of you
A deep feeling of private exclusivity as he lets you into his inner world
In order to explain this signal, think of yourself as a radio tower.
You are constantly broadcasting a message to the men in your life. And there’s one “channel” he can’t tune out.
That’s because men have emotional “antennas” designed specifically to detect this one kind of signal.
Ready to find out which signal I’m talking about? Ok, here it is. He reads your nonverbal cues to find out where you “rank him” compared with other men.
He reads your body language to see how he measures up in your eyes. Does she respect me? Or am I just her play thing?
Does she look up to me in some ways? Does she value me compared to other men? Or is she just settling?
Why are men so sensitive to this one signal?
Because, oddly enough, this signal tells him how you compare him to other men. So, it influences how he feels about himself whenever he’s around you.
And it’s amazing how much this one signal affects his emotions.
You see, in relationships, people don’t tell us what we really want to know. Wev have to listen to what’s written between the lines.
This kind of “listening” determines how we feel about each person we meet. And when it comes to romantic relationships, it tells us far more than spoken words. Now tell me this. Which man would you rather commit to for life?
A man who compliments your beauty but seems to have difficulty keeping his eyes off other women? Or a man who is reserved with his compliments, but seems to have eyes only for you?
The truth is, no one wants to end up with someone who is just settling. Instead, you want to feel desired.Men are no different. But what makes men feel desired is very different from what makes women feel desired.
For example, research shows men often confuse love and respect. A man does not want to be loved by a romantic partner unless she also holds him in high regard compared with other men. Otherwise, it just feels like motherly love. That’s not what he wants. It’s not how he wants to perceive himself in his primary relationship.